Dear Dorm mate~ {Taehyung mini series} (9/11)
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Dear Dorm mate~ Part 9
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Warning:
This series contains use of strong language, if you feel uncomfortable, this is not the series for you. For the others, I hope you enjoy :)
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Y/N’s POV
I put a glass of water on the coffee table in front of Taehyung as I sat beside him. I maintained my distance as I looked out of the window.
It was raining, very lightly outside and The weather was now chilly.
“Why did you leave the dorm?” I heard his voice as I turned my head to look at him. His ever so dark gaze made me weak but I managed to keep my composure.
“I didn’t have a reason to stay.” You were the reason I wanted to stay but you hated me.
Taehyung was quiet as I studied him. His expression was still unreadable as I looked away with a sigh.
“Come back.” He whispered making me snap my head in his direction and I saw the desperation on his face.
“Why? So that you can treat me like shit again? So that you can play your little games just for your entertainment? Give me one good reason why I should come back.” I spoke knowing too well how harsh my tone and words were but I was numb.
“Because I need you...” He spoke as his eyes were on mine. My eyes widened at his words as I felt perplexed. He is playing with me again.
“Don’t feed me that bullshit Taehyung! You don’t fucking need me! I am like every other girl that chases after you, remember? So why don’t you go to them, I am sure they would be dying to share a fucking dorm with an asshole like you-“ Before I could finish, his lips were on mine as his hands were in my hair. The kiss was desperate and it made my stomach flip. No...not again.
I put my hands on his chest as I tried to push him off but he held my wrists. I continued struggling to free myself from his grip but it was too tight. Giving up, I let him be, feeling weak. I stopped struggling but didn’t kiss him back.
He slowly pulled away as his eyes looked into mine. A tear slid down my cheek as I felt used once more.
“Are you satisfied now?” I spoke as I looked at him, I felt hurt. “Can’t you just leave me alone? I promised you that I will never bother you again...then why did you come here when you fucking hate me?” I let the words tumble out of my mouth and gently pushed him away. I looked out of the window as my head was now pounding.
“I don’t hate you Y/N...I was just hurt...” He spoke as I turned to look at him in disbelief.
“You were hurt? Are you fucking serious?! You didn’t even listen to me! I tried to fucking tell you but you didn’t fucking listen! I told you I-I loved you but you....You laughed at me and told me that you fucking hated me! And then you say that you were hurt?” I yelled at him, feeling offended.
“Y/N I-“
“I am not a fucking object that you can toy around with whenever you want! You said you didn’t feel the same way right? Then why can’t you leave me alone and let me move on? Why can’t you go and toy with someone else? Why me? What the fuck did I ever do to you? It’s like you build me up just to break me apart again.” I sobbed as I buried my face in my hands.
I felt his hand on my shoulder but quickly shrugged it off.
“Leave.” I spoke as I lifted my head to glare at him. He looked taken aback but I didn’t let my gaze falter.
“Y/N please just listen to me...” He sounded panicked and for a second I wanted to agree to it but disposed the thought off immediately.
“Get the fuck out of my dorm Taehyung.” I spoke harshly as I looked at him with the deadliest glare I could possibly give him.
Taehyung’s expression saddened as he got up. He walked over to the door as his hand reached for the door handle. He glanced at me from over his shoulder and I felt more broken than before. Taehyung wordlessly opened the door and walked out.
I sighed as I hugged myself.
It’s going to be okay...I will be fine... I continued to remind myself as I rubbed my arms.
I lay down on the couch as I pulled the small blanket on top of me.
My eyes close as I slowly drifted, trying to forget all that has happened and hoping by the time I wake up, everything will be okay once more.
***
“Y/N... Help me please...” Taehyung choked as his body trembled. Panic filled my mind as I saw him in pain.
I tried approaching him but I was being held back by this invisible force. I struggled trying to reach him as he collapsed to the floor.
His eyes started to close as his hand reached out to me.
“Y-Y/N...” He spoke weakly and i tried overcome the force, struggling harder than before.
“Don’t close your eyes Taehyung ...Please don’t close your eyes.” I yelled and he smiled weakly at me.
“I-I’m sorry Y/N...” His eyes closed as I was finally released by the invisible force.
Rushing over to Taehyung, I held him in my arms. His body was cold and lifeless and my heart dropped into my stomach.
“No..no...no...Taehyung open your eyes...please open your eyes.” I spoke as I saw his motionless body.
I looked at my hand which was now covered with blood as I broke down while embracing his body close to mine.
“Taehyung!” I woke up with a jolt as beads of sweat coated my forehead.
It was just a dream.
I sighed in relief as I felt myself relax. No matter how mad I am at him, I can’t see him in pain.
I looked out of the window. It was still raining but it was now raining heavily. I checked the time, it was half past eight.
I heard creaking of wood from the front door as my brows furrowed. I walked over to the door as I opened it and my eyes widened at the sight.
Taehyung sat by the door, drenched by the rain. His body trembled as he was leaning his head against the wall.
I rushed over to him as his gaze shifted towards me and he smiled, weakly.
“W-Why are you here?” I asked as I knelt down in front of him.
“I never left...” He spoke, his voice as soft as a whisper. I looked at him in shock as my eyes widened. So he was here in the rain for the past one and a half hour. Fuck.
My hand unknowingly reached his forehead. He was burning.
“You have fever...” I said, all the anger I had against him was now lost to the worry that I had for him.
He leaned forward as he wrapped his arms around me before putting his chin on my shoulder, not saying a single word.
“I-I’m sorry...Please come back...” He pleaded and my eyes softened.
I supported his body as I carefully made him stand up.
“Let’s talk about this later, come in for now.” I spoke, not wanting to talk about the same topic over and over. He is sick and he needs some rest.
I opened the door as I supported Taehyung’s body into my room.
As he sat on my bed, I rushed over to the bathroom. Grabbing a towel, I walked back into the room as I rushed over to him before drying his hair.
I knew that his gaze was on me but I didn’t want to look back, I didn’t have the heart to look into his beautiful eyes.
My emotion got the best of me as my eyes met his tired ones. He smiled making my heart flutter but I didn’t say a word as I continued drying his hair, my eyes were still locked with his.
I felt my body tingle as his hand made its way to face. He tucked a lock of hair behind my ear while his hand cupped my cheek and I froze. My hands stopped moving as I looked at him, my strong faΓ§ade breaking a part. My mind shut down and all the hatred that I had managed to have for him seemed to have disappeared in an instant. I hated it, but I didn’t hate him. I couldn’t hate him, ever.
I hate myself for being like this. A few moments ago, I was criticising the female lead for being too forgiving and now when I am doing the same, I know why she did it. I had so many things to say to him. I wanted to yell at him, I wanted to scream, I wanted to cry but I wanted him to comfort me while I did. I wanted him to shield from my own anger and destruction, even though he was the reason why I am like this now. I wanted him to stop me, protect me and...love me, as much as I loved him.
In that moment, realisation washed over me as I quickly stepped back, snapping out of my daze. He doesn’t love me, the last time I remember he hated me and even if he said that in anger, he still wouldn’t love me. I was only his dorm mate, or should I say ex-dorm Mate. Unrequited love, this is what it is. I’ve read about it so many times but never understood what it felt like but I guess now I do. It feels terrible and it is burning me from the inside making me feel insecure about myself.
I gripped the towel that was in my hands as I tore my gaze away from his worried one. My breathing accelerated due to the self doubt that had settled into my mind. I folded the towel as I kept it on the nightstand. I was about to walk out of the room when I felt a tug on my wrist, making me stumble back. I gasped as I fell onto Taehyung’s lap, his arms circled my waist as he put his chin on my shoulder. My breathing hitched as I tried to get up.
“Don’t.” He spoke firmly and I stopped trying my best not to let my emotions flow. “I’m sorry for all the shit I said. I know that it might be unforgivable but I will try my best to earn you back.” He spoke and I clenched my fists. What does he even mean by that? When did he ever care about me, enough to want to earn me back? “When I woke up, I thought you left for Campus. I went to campus and checked my phone, that’s when I saw your text. Though I was upset with you, I couldn’t let you go.” I was about to say something when he placed his finger over my lips, silencing me. “Let me finish.” I sighed and let him continue. “I met Jungkook and he told me everything, about you and him...” Taehyung trailed off and I could sense the regret in his voice. I stayed silent waiting for him to speak further. “I tried finding which dorm you were in because I wanted to apologise. Jungkook told me that you were staying at Jordan’s dorm, so I came here.” He mumbled and I remembered that I was still on his lap. I tried to get up once more but he didn’t let me, making me let out an exasperated sigh.
“Let me go Taehyung…” I spoke trying to free myself from his strong arms. A much deeper, more vulnerable part of me, told me to curl myself up in his arms and stay there forever but I can’t. I know I can’t.
“No…” He spoke but I continued to struggle. “Do you love me?” His words made me freeze as my hands balled into fists.
“Does it fucking matter?” I snapped and heard him sigh.
“Yes it does. Tell me, do you?” Taehyung asked once more and I turned my head to look at his face which was unreadable. Like always.
I glared at him and he just tilted his head, waiting for me to speak. The little smirk his face held told me that he wouldn’t let me go until I answered him. I rolled my eyes at him. “Yes, I do but it doesn’t mean anything anymore-“
“Me too.” He interrupted me and my eyes widened as I saw a ghost of a smile linger over his lips. When the fuck did this happen? My breathing accelerated as he looked at me with a smirk.
“W-What-“ Before I could continue, his lips had already found mine while his grip around me tightened. My eyes widened further and for the first time, I actually had no idea what to do. I wanted to kiss him back so bad, but my mind was making lousy excuses not to. Fuck this.
“Kiss me back Y/N...” He murmured against my lips and those words made me lose it. My heart had now taken control and before I knew it, my hands were now tangled in his soft blonde hair while my lips were desperately kissing him back. I felt him smile against my lips while I turned my body in his direction making me face him. He put his hand behind my neck as he deepened the kiss, his lips completely molding mine.
Taehyung pulled away as I felt his warm breath over my lips while my eyes were still closed. He leant his forehead against mine while I heard his ragged breathing. I opened my eyes and saw that his eyes were already locked with mine making me flush scarlet.
“How do I know that you are not playing with me again?” The words tumbled out of my mouth as I saw his intense gaze soften in an instant.
“I’m sorry Y/N, I really am…. Please just give me one more chance to make this right.” He whispered and somehow, I had this sudden urge to embrace him. His mask which always kept his expression unreadable and guarded, seemed to have slipped off and in his eyes I saw fear. Fear of losing something, like a lost child looking for comfort.
I tried getting off his lap once more but he just tightened his grip, his gaze vulnerable and panicked. I sighed, as my heart sank seeing this side of him.
“I am not going anywhere Taehyung, I promise.” I reassure him and he visibly relaxed. Hesitantly, he loosened his grip as I clumsily got to my feet. I opened a drawer of my dresser as I took out some aspirin and filled a glass of water. He is still unwell.
As I turn to look at him, I see him assessing my every action. His face was guarded once more, making me let out an exhausted sigh. I walk over to him, handing him the aspirin and water. He takes it rather slowly as he pops the aspirin into his mouth before taking large gulps of water, his gaze still fixed on me as I slowly sit beside him.
He loves me. The thought is overwhelming and it takes my all to stop myself from kissing him once more just so I can show him that I love him too, so much.
“Get some rest.” I tell him as I lift the duvet for him to slide in but he just looks at me blankly.
“Stay with me.” He says and I nod without too much thought. Lord, I fucking hate myself for being so soft when it comes to him. A smile spreads across his face and he hurriedly slid under the sheets as he looked at me expectantly. I slowly slide myself under the duvet as I maintain some distance from Taehyung. I turned my back towards him feeling a chill run down my spine as I tried to let myself relax. But it doesn’t work as he wrapped his arms around me, making me gasp.
“Taehyung-“
“I love you.” I said and those words made my heart leap out of my chest and I felt l the whole of my body tingle.
He loves me, he really loves me. He stayed out in the rain for me, he searched for me when I left, he comforted me when I broke down, just because he loves me, he cares. I might be being a bit too harsh on him, even though he was an ass but then again he was drunk at the time. It was not completely his fault. Maybe my self respect turned into my ego and I didn't even realise that I was doing the same thing that he did to me, I was hurting him without knowing it myself. His sincerity assured me to give him another chance, he deserves it...he deserves the world.
I turned my body so that I am completely facing him and before I could stop myself, I placed my arms around him before placing a chaste kiss over his lips. I pulled away, as I placed my head in the crook of his neck.
“I love you too.” I spoke and felt him rub my back soothingly as his strong arms cocooned my figure.
“Say it again.” He whispered back and I smiled.
“I love you.”
“Again.” I giggled as I slowly pulled back before brushing his hair with my fingers.
“I love you Kim Taehyung.” I told him and he pecked my forehead. “Just don’t break me Tae, I don’t think I can take it.” I spoke and he wrapped his arms around me once more. Both of us stayed silent as the sound of rain filled the void.
“Can I court you then?” He asked breaking the silence and I smiled feeling myself melt.
“Sure.” I answered calmly though I was freaking out. He smiled and tucked a stray stand of hair behind my ear.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
“Well aren't you eager?” I challenged as he smirked and chuckled. "I will think about it..."
“I will take that as a yes. Sleep now my dear girlfriend…It’s getting late.” Taehyung commanded and I playfully rolled my eyes at him. “You are moving back with me right?” He asked and I sighed.
“I miss that dorm," I Spoke and saw a ghost of a smile linger on his lips. "I will tell Jordan tomorrow.” I miss the books, the homely aura and Taehyung.
I leaned in as I place my head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me. And once more, I drifted into a deep slumber, dreaming of the blonde boy who rules my heart…waiting for what tomorrow holds.
To Be Continued…
{Author's Note: Final part coming soon, I will be adding a bonus part too as part 11. See you next time. ILY Guys~}
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